View source for Wikipedia:The Last Word

{{redirect|WP:WORD||Wikipedia:Department of Fun/Word Association}}
{{humorantipolicy}}
{{nutshell|In Wikipedia, sometimes debates get heated. Whenever this occurs, it is of primary importance that you always ensure that you get The Last Word.}}
[[File:Scrabble - flickr.jpg|thumb|Getting in the last word is advantageous]]
In [[Wikipedia]], even more than in real life, getting '''The Last Word''' in a debate is crucial, as it is the only proof of your argumentative success over competing editors. The following is a useful collection of suggestions on why and how to obtain your right to have the Last Word, however tenaciously your opponent may be trying to rob you of your privilege.

==Reasons for getting the last word==
[[Image:Sir Horatio Nelson when wounded at Teneriffe.jpg|''Nelson's last word: 'It's an mdash, Hardy.''' Wikiquote has a selection of [[q:Famous last words|famous last words]] you can use. (The strategy is to expire after the utterance)|thumb|right|150px]]
Getting the last word means that you win the debate. It also shows your moral superiority. This should convince your opponent that you are correct, and will certainly impress your fellow Wikipedians.

It is particularly important to get the last word where you are in some doubts as to the merits of your case. The last word will serve as a clinching argument that will make up for any deficiencies in your logic.  Achieving the last word ''now'' also brings the advantage that you may subsequently point to your success in ''this'' debate as the clinching argument in future debates. However, if you did ''not'' win the last discussion, we still recommend claiming ''incessantly'' that you did.

==How to get the last word==
[[Image:Ouch-boxing-footwork.jpg|thumb|left|100px|The sucker wasted all reserves in the first rounds. Time for the <s>final blow</s> Last Word.]]
We recommend the following ''tried and tested'' tactics to aid you in taking what is rightfully yours.

Often, your opponent will not understand the importance of the last word (abr. TLW™) and will readily concede the ground to you (in which case it's nevertheless ''mandatory'' to rub it in their face on all relevant talk pages). However, sometimes your opponent is well aware of this Wikipedian convention and will attempt to wrongfully deprive you of your right. Do not give ground to such intimidation. Pursue your case with fortitude and vigour. If your actual arguments have already been stated on the page, do not fear to repeat them in a slightly different form. CAPITALISING YOUR ARGUMENT, '''or bolding sections''', can be used to give variety if you fear you are being repetitive.
<div style="width:18em; float:right; padding:5px; font-family: arial, narrow;">{{cquote|I know what you're doing, you are just trying to have the '''WP:WORD'''!}}</div>
Debates are like boxing matches. Try to make your opponent do the footwork so they get exhausted while you preserve your energy for the <s>final blow</s> Last Word. If they bring any arguments you cannot immediately refute, [[Wikipedia:Disruptive editing#Failure or refusal to "get the point"|play dumb]] and ask for clarification, it helps wear off the adversary's patience. Ask for more sources and better sources (ideally in that order). If they insolently keep providing answers, arbitrarily stop replying for a while. Better yet, point out that their answer dodges the ''real'' question, which is something tangentially (if at all) related to your original point. Be sure to post on their user talk page, so they have additional opportunities for <s>frustration</s> thoughtful response. You can conserve your own energy by posting one question on the article talk page, posting a second question on their user talk page, then posting that second question on the article talk page and the first question on the user talk page.
[[Image:Harold dead bayeux tapestry.png|Harold foolishly conceded the last word to William|thumb|right|150px]]
Elegance is relative. Cheat, if you think you can get away with it. Call in <s>your friends</s> uninvolved users to keep the other party busy and distract from the original debate. Exploit the headstart you have over impudent newbies. Most of them walk into debates like knifers into a gunfight: Easy prey.
[[Image:Elderly Woman, B&W image by Chalmers Butterfield.jpg|Muriel got TLW™, by outliving all the members of her Wikiproject|thumb|left|100px]]
In the <u>last resort</u>, it is very advisable to use '''warning templates''' as early as possible ([[Wikipedia:Template messages/User talk namespace#Warnings and notices|go there now and pick one or three]]) and to cite any convenient [[WP:POL|policies]] that you think will be useful to your cause. ([[Wikipedia:Vandalism|Vandalism]] templates are usually the best). After all, one template says more than a thousand words, and it's an elegant way to get the '''last word''' in case the other <s>bastard</s> user just won't concede the ground.
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{| align="center" style="clear:both; text-align:left; font-size: 100%; width:80%; border:1px solid #aaa; background:transparent"
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| style="padding-right: 10px;" | [[Image:Nuvola apps important.svg|40px]]
|| NB: If your opponent attempts to seize the last word for themselves, be careful to point out the folly of this strategy, perhaps citing this project page.  Alternatively, state that since your opponent loves to get the last word, you will graciously cede it to them.   These clever techniques allow you to simultaneously regain the last word for yourself while making any sort of reply from your opponent seem in bad faith.
|}

==Other complementary tactics==
[[Image:Jimbo and Wikipe-tan.jpg|A senior Wikipedian loses TLW™ to a promising upstart|thumb|right|150px]]
The following are practical enhancements to all '''TLW™''' strategies:
* Remind <s>the little shits</s> your opponents that they should abide by [[Wikipedia:Assume good faith]] and [[Wikipedia:No personal attacks]]. If you are, why shouldn't they?
* Liberally employ [[Wikipedia:Vandalism|vandalism]] accusations. It is at least theoretically possible that their edits are vandalism, so there is no reason not to raise this concern.
* If the "arguments" of the other side are being agreed to by one or more people, chances are you're dealing with [[Wikipedia:Sock puppetry|sockpuppets]], so make sure to appropriately [[Shifting the burden of proof|demand proof of innocence]].
* Noticeboard reports are strongly recommended but carry the great risk of being overlooked or not yielding a useful response (beware of ''the [[Wikipedia:List of cabals|bad admins]]''™). You may want to [[Wikipedia:Canvassing|distribute the risk]] by posting to several noticeboards at once, including but by no means limited to [[Wikipedia:Wikiquette assistance]], [[Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard]], and of course the chronically underused [[Wikipedia:Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents|ANI]], as well as ''all'' specific pages applicable in the given situation.
* Block the jerk or get them blocked by one of ''the good admins''™, and [[Wikipedia:Protection policy|protect]] their talk page – then post your comment.
* Don't forget to bring up Jimbo. After all, he's the principal authority and mentioning him will give you an edge. ''Maybe'' excluding debates with Jimbo himself, but even then, it's still worth a try.
* Indicate that  you are "Unwatching" the page after your final last word (well, technically this tactic makes the word ''Unwatching'' the ''de facto'' last word). That way the other editor will know that it's futile to add additional comments after your last word.  The best thing about this tactic is you don't have to actually Unwatch the page. You can still monitor the page to see if there are any more attempts to usurp your position as the one with the last word, in which case you can continue to do battle and say you "just happened to be walking by".
:* It's worth noting there is a useful countertactic to someone claiming they are Unwatching a page in order to get the last word. What you do is put the {{t|dubious}} tag right after their "Unwatching" comment. They won't be able to object to you doing that, because they are purportedly not watching the page any more. Even if they use the "I just happened to be walking by{{dubious}}" excuse, they will have to admit you got under their skin, which is a victory in itself, and you will then be free to add your own last word.

* Delete any other editors' comments which follow your last word. Technically this is a violation of the ''[[WP:TPO#Editing others' comments|Editing Others' Comments Policy]]'', but you can get away with it if you claim the other editor was not merely being uncivil but was actually engaged in [[Wikipedia:Deny recognition|Trolling]] or even [[WP:Vandalism|Vandalism]], which are exceptions to the ''Editing Other's Comments Policy'' under a different policy, i.e., the ''[[WP:RUC|Removing Uncivil Comments Policy]]''.

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{| align="center" style="clear:both; text-align:left; font-size: 100%; width:80%; border:1px solid #aaa; background:transparent"
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| style="padding-right: 10px;" | [[Image:Nuvola apps important.svg|40px]]
|| NB: any attempt by them to deprive you of '''TLW™''' is quite obviously [[WP:Civility|uncivil]], possibly [[m:What is a troll?|JUST TROLLING]] and certainly a UNILATERAL '''VIOLATION''' of [[Wikipedia:Don't disrupt Wikipedia to illustrate a point]]. RESIST it at ALL costs.
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==See also==
* [[m:How to win an argument]]
* [[User:Deacon of Pndapetzim/How to win a revert war|How to win a revert war]]
* [[Wikipedia:Adminitis]]
* [[Wikipedia:Advice for hotheads]]
* [[Wikipedia:Assume bad faith]]
* [[Wikipedia:Just drop it]]
* [[Wikipedia:Mind your own business]]
* [[Wikipedia:Sarcasm is really helpful]]
* [[Wikipedia:The Truth]]
* [[Wikipedia:The Most Important Thing Possible]]
* [[Wikipedia:Drop the stick and back slowly away from the horse carcass]]

{{Wikipedia essays|civility}}

[[Category:Wikipedia humor]]
[[Category:Wikipedia essays]]