View source for Pauline Phillips

{{short description|20th century American advice columnist}}
{{Use mdy dates|date=January 2019}}
{{Infobox writer
| pseudonym   = Abigail Van Buren ("[[Dear Abby]]")
| image       = Pauline Phillips 1961.JPG
| caption     = Publicity photo, 1961
| birth_name  = Pauline Esther Friedman
| birth_date  = {{birth date|1918|7|4}}
| birth_place = [[Sioux City, Iowa]], U.S.
| death_date  = {{death date and age|2013|1|16|1918|7|4}}
| death_place = [[Minneapolis]], [[Minnesota]], U.S.
| alma_mater  = [[Morningside University|Morningside College]]
| occupation  = {{cslist|Personal advice columnist|author|radio host}}
| spouse      = {{marriage|Morton Phillips|1939}}
| children    = 2, including [[Jeanne Phillips|Jeanne]]
| relatives   = {{Plainlist|
* [[Eppie Lederer|Esther Pauline "Eppie" Lederer]] (twin sister)
* [[Dean Phillips]] (grandson)
}}
| website     = {{URL|dearabby.com}}
}}
'''Pauline Esther Phillips'''  (née '''Friedman'''; July 4, 1918 – January 16, 2013), also known as '''Abigail Van Buren''', was an American advice columnist and radio show host who began the well-known ''[[Dear Abby]]'' newspaper column in 1956. It became the most widely syndicated newspaper column in the world, syndicated in 1,400 newspapers with 110 million readers.<ref>{{cite news|url=http://www.cnn.com/2013/01/17/showbiz/dear-abby-pauline-phillips-obit/index.html |title=Pauline Phillips, longtime Dear Abby advice columnist, dies at 94|work=CNN News|date= January 17, 2013}}</ref>

From 1963 to 1975, Phillips also hosted a daily ''Dear Abby'' program on CBS Radio. TV anchorwoman [[Diane Sawyer]] calls her the "pioneering queen of salty advice".<ref>Archived at [https://ghostarchive.org/varchive/youtube/20211211/UXa02kyJa28 Ghostarchive]{{cbignore}} and the [https://web.archive.org/web/20131121160004/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXa02kyJa28 Wayback Machine]{{cbignore}}: {{cite news|author=Sawyer, Diane |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXa02kyJa28| via=YouTube|title='Dear Abby' Columnist, Pauline Phillips, Dies at Age 94|work= ABC News|date= January 17, 2013}}{{cbignore}}</ref> She was also the paternal stepgrandmother of U.S. Congressman [[Dean Phillips]].

==Early life==
Pauline Friedman, nicknamed "Popo", was born in [[Sioux City, Iowa]], to [[History of the Jews in Russia|Russian Jewish]] immigrants Rebecca (née Rushall) and Abraham B. Friedman, owner of a chain of movie theaters.<ref name=NYT>{{cite news|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/18/business/media/pauline-phillips-flinty-adviser-to-millions-as-dear-abby-dies-at-94.html?emc=na&_r=0 |title=Pauline Phillips, Flinty Adviser to Millions as Dear Abby, Dies at 94|work=The New York Times|date= January 17, 2013}}</ref> She was the youngest of four sisters and grew up in Sioux City. Her identical twin was [[Eppie Lederer|Esther Pauline Friedman]] (married name Lederer), nicknamed “Eppie”.{{efn|Her sister Eppie Lederer was columnist [[Ask Ann Landers|Ann Landers]].<ref name=NYT/> Lederer had become Ann Landers in 1955, and Phillips soon followed suit by launching her own advice column.}}

Phillips graduated from the now-defunct [[Sioux City Central High School and Central Annex|Central High School]]<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.siouxcityhistory.org/sites/more.php?id=47_0_3_0_M |title=Central High School |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20071017054713/http://siouxcityhistory.org/sites/more.php?id=47_0_3_0_M |archive-date=October 17, 2007  }}</ref> in Sioux City. She then studied journalism and psychology at [[Morningside University|Morningside College]], where she and her twin sister wrote a [[Gossip columnist|gossip column]] in the school newspaper. The column was called "The Campus Rat", and they used the pen name "PE-EP", inspired by their names Pauline Esther and Esther Pauline.<ref name=NYT/><ref>{{Cite web |last=Ewing |first=Jody |date=23 August 2001 |title=Daughter helps keep 'Abby' ink flowing |url=http://www.jodyewing.com/jeanne_phillips_8_01.html |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110713111831/http://www.jodyewing.com/jeanne_phillips_8_01.html |archive-date=2011-07-13 |access-date=2025-07-17 |website=www.jodyewing.com}}</ref> Both sisters were married in a [[double wedding]] ceremony on July 2, 1939, two days before their 21st birthday.<ref>Eppie: The Story of Ann Landers, by Margo Howard (her daughter), p.&nbsp;45.</ref><ref name="Ink">{{cite web |url=http://www.jodyewing.com/jeanne_phillips_8_01.html |title=Daughter Helps Keep 'Abby' Ink Flowing |author=Ewing, Jody |date=August 23, 2001 |publisher=Ewing, Jody |access-date=September 26, 2010 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110713111831/http://www.jodyewing.com/jeanne_phillips_8_01.html |archive-date=July 13, 2011  }}</ref> Pauline married Morton Phillips of [[Minneapolis]], and had son Edward and daughter [[Jeanne Phillips|Jeanne]].<ref name="Abby"/>

==Career==
Phillips' writing career began in January 1956 when she was 37 and new to the San Francisco area. She phoned the editor of the ''San Francisco Chronicle'' and said that she could write a better advice column than the one that she had been reading in the newspaper.<ref name="Abby"/><ref name=ABCNews/> After hearing her modest credentials, editor Stanleigh Arnold gave her some letters in need of answers and told her to bring back her replies in a week; Phillips got her replies back to the ''Chronicle'' in an hour and a half. In an interview with [[Larry King]], she said that she had no work experience, lacking even a social security number. The editor, however, asked if she was a professional writer. He said that her writing was "fabulous', and she was hired that day.<ref name="Abby"/><ref>video interview: {{YouTube|akk_67S3DUk|"'Dear Abby' talks about her big break"}}, CNN</ref>

She went by the pen name [[Abigail Van Buren]], combining the [[Old Testament]] prophetess from [[s:Bible (King James)/1 Samuel#25:33|1 Samuel]]<ref name=NYT/> with President [[Martin Van Buren]].<ref name="Ander">{{cite news |title=At 72, 'Dear Abby' Says Retirement Is A Dirty Word |author=Ander, Marsha S. |url=http://docs.newsbank.com/s/InfoWeb/aggdocs/AWNB/0EB04D391BB2E2F9/0D0CB57AB53DF815 |newspaper=[[St. Louis Post-Dispatch]] |date=June 8, 1991 |access-date=September 14, 2011 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20190709000259/http://iw.newsbank.com/iw-search/we/InfoWeb?p_action%3Ddoc%26p_theme%3Daggdocs%26p_topdoc%3D1%26p_docnum%3D1%26p_sort%3DYMD_date:D%26p_product%3DAWNB%26p_docid%3D0EB04D391BB2E2F9%26p_text_direct-0%3Ddocument_id%3D%28%200EB04D391BB2E2F9%20%29%26p_nbid%3DR51I4CYCMTMxNjA0ODI3NS44MTA1OTI6MTo5OjEyOC |archive-date=July 9, 2019 |url-status=dead  }}</ref> Her twin sister was the author of the [[Ask Ann Landers|Ann Landers]] column, and the competition created acrimony between them for many years. In 1956, Phillips offered her column to the ''[[Sioux City Journal]]'' at a reduced price, provided that the paper refuse to print her sister's column.<ref name="Ink"/> The sisters ostensibly reconciled in 1964 but remained competitors.<ref>{{cite encyclopedia |title=Ann Landers biography |encyclopedia=Jewish Virtual Library |url=https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/Landers.html |last=Judd |first=Robin |author-link=Robin Judd}}</ref> They became "the most widely read and most quoted women in the world" in 1958, according to ''Life'' magazine.<ref name=Life>''Life'' magazine, April 7, 1958 pp. 102–112</ref>

===Writing style===
Newspapers had included gossip and personal columnists for more than a century, but the two sisters added "something special", according to ''Life'', in that they were the first to publish letters and replies covering a wide range of personal problems, replying with "vaudeville punch lines" rooted in common sense.<ref name=Life/> The editor of the ''Chicago Sun-Times'' described their skill as "beyond mere shrewdness—a quality very close to genuine wisdom."<ref name=Life/>

{{blockquote|With her comic and flinty yet fundamentally sympathetic voice, Mrs. Phillips helped wrestle the advice column from its weepy Victorian past into a hard-nosed 20th-century present.<ref name=NYT/>}}

Phillips stated that she did not publish the most sensitive letters that she received, but instead replied to them individually. Sometimes she would write a brief note on the letter itself, letting one of her secretaries respond fully using her advice. If a person seemed suicidal from their letter, she would call them on the phone.<ref name=chronicle/><ref name=Life/>

==Personal life and beliefs==
Phillips was considered "the embodiment of female orthodoxy." This attitude carried over into her column in the late 1950s, and she considered women "faintly ridiculous" if they were unable to make their marriages work. Her "code of conduct" was "husband and children first."<ref name=Life/> In her later years, she did not avoid suggesting divorce when a relationship became "intolerable", and considered how a bad marriage might affect children: "When kids see parents fighting, or even sniping at each other, I think it is terribly damaging."<ref name=chronicle>{{cite news|url= http://thechronicleherald.ca/artslife/458541-dear-abby-advice-columnist-sister-of-ann-landers-dies-at-94 |title=Dear Abby, advice columnist, sister of Ann Landers, dies at 94|work=The Chronicle Herald|location= Canada|date= January 17, 2013}}</ref>

Phillips supported gay rights, and season 1, episode 8 of the [[podcast]] ''[[Making Gay History]]'' is about her.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://makinggayhistory.com/season-one/ |title=Season One |publisher=Making Gay History |access-date=2020-04-27}}</ref>

Both Phillips and her sister enjoyed socializing with celebrities, and because of their fame, celebrities liked being seen with them. Among Phillips' friends soon after she began her column were politicians, including Senators [[Hubert Humphrey]] and [[Herbert Lehman]]; and entertainers, including [[Jerry Lewis]] and [[Dean Martin]].<ref name=Life/> They also admired Bishop [[Fulton Sheen]], whom they met when learning about Catholicism while studying about other religions. The bishop admired them both in return due to their ability to remain "unawed" and unaffected by the fame of others. Phillips was Jewish, and she commented: "He's one of the greatest men I ever met, but he'll be a Jew before I'm a Catholic."<ref name=Life/>

Phillips was an honorary member of [[Women in Communications]], the [[American College of Psychiatrists]], and the [[National Council of Jewish Women]]. Her columns were collected in ''Dear Abby'', ''Dear Teenager'', ''Dear Abby on Marriage'', ''Where Were You When President Kennedy was Shot?'', ''The Dear Abby Wedding Planner'', and ''The Best of Dear Abby''.<ref name="ups">Universal Press Syndicate historical files.</ref> She said that writing is "only work if you'd rather be doing something else."<ref name=chronicle/> She co-wrote the column with her daughter Jeanne from 1987 until her retirement. In 2002, Phillips' [[Alzheimer's disease]] made it impossible for her to continue writing, and Jeanne assumed all the writing responsibilities of ''Dear Abby''.<ref name="Abby">{{cite web|url=https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/DrJohnson/story?id=128029&page=1|title='Dear Abby' Struggles With Alzheimer's|date=February 12, 2010|author=Johnson, Dr. Tim|publisher=ABC News|access-date=September 26, 2010}}</ref><ref name="ABCNews">{{cite web|last=Fisher|first=Luchina|title='Dear Abby' Advice Columnist Dies|date=January 17, 2013 |url=http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/dear-abbys-pauline-phillips-dies-94-185625189--abc-news-celebrities.html|publisher=ABC News Blogs|access-date=January 17, 2013}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.chicagotribune.com/2002/08/07/dear-abby-creator-has-alzheimers-family-announces/|title=Dear Abby creator has Alzheimer's, family announces|date=August 7, 2002|work=Chicago Tribune|access-date=September 26, 2010}}</ref>

==Death==
Phillips died on January 16, 2013, at age 94, after battling Alzheimer's for 11 years.<ref name=ABCNews /><ref name="New York Times">{{cite news |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/18/business/media/pauline-phillips-flinty-adviser-to-millions-as-dear-abby-dies-at-94.html |title=Pauline Phillips, Flinty Adviser to Millions as Dear Abby, Dies at 94 |work=The New York Times|date=January 17, 2013 |access-date= January 17, 2013 |last1=Fox |first1=Margalit }}</ref> She was survived by her husband of 73 years, Morton Phillips, daughter Jeanne Phillips, four grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren. Her son, Edward, had died two years prior.<ref name=NYT/>

==Bibliography==

=== Books about Dear Abby ===
*{{cite book|author= Aronson, Virginia|title= Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren. Women of achievement|location= Philadelphia|publisher= Chelsea House Publishers|date= 2000|isbn= 0-7910-5297-4|url= https://archive.org/details/annlandersabigai00aron}} (Children's book).
* {{cite book|author1=Pottker, Janice |author2=Speziale, Bob |title=Dear Ann, Dear Abby: The Unauthorized Biography of Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren|location=New York|publisher= Dodd, Mead|date= 1987|isbn=0-396-08906-2}}

=== Books by Abigail Van Buren ===
* ''Dear Abby''.  Illustrated by Carl Rose. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice-Hall, [1958].
* ''Dear teen-ager''. Illustrated by Roy Doty. [New York]: B. Geis Associates; distributed by Random House [1959].
* ''Dear Abby on marriage''. New York: McGraw-Hill, [1962].
* ''The Best of Dear Abby''. Kansas City: Andrews and McMeel, 1981. {{ISBN|0-8362-7907-7}}; 081613362X (lg. print.)
* ''Dear Abby on planning your wedding''. Andrews and McMeel, c1988. {{ISBN|0-8362-7943-3}}.
* ''Where were you when President Kennedy was shot?: memories and tributes to a slain president as told to Dear Abby''. Foreword by Pierre Salinger. Andrews and McMeel, c. 1993. {{ISBN|0-8362-6246-8}}.

== See also ==
*[[List of newspaper columnists]]
* [[Poisoned candy scare]]

==Notes==
{{notelist}}

==References==
{{reflist|25em}}

==External links==
* [http://www.dearabby.com Dear Abby] official website 
* [http://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/van-buren-abigail "Abigail Van Buren 1918–2013"] (March 20, 2009) by Robin Judd, ''Jewish Women: A Comprehensive Historical Encyclopedia'', Jewish Women's Archive (jwa.org)
* {{LCAuth|n81103052|Abigail Van Buren (1918–2013)|7|}}

{{Authority control}}<!-- Pauline Phillips as Abigail Van Buren -->

{{DEFAULTSORT:Phillips, Pauline}}
[[Category:American advice columnists]]
[[Category:Jewish advice columnists]]
[[Category:American women columnists]]
[[Category:Jewish American non-fiction writers]]
[[Category:Jewish American journalists]]
[[Category:Jewish American women writers]]
[[Category:20th-century American women journalists]]
[[Category:20th-century American journalists]]
[[Category:Journalists from Iowa]]
[[Category:Journalists from California]]
[[Category:Writers from Sioux City, Iowa]]
[[Category:Mass media people from Beverly Hills, California]]
[[Category:American people of Russian-Jewish descent]]
[[Category:American identical twins]]
[[Category:Identical twin females]]
[[Category:Deaths from Alzheimer's disease in Minnesota]]
[[Category:1918 births]]
[[Category:2013 deaths]]
[[Category:20th-century American women writers]]
[[Category:20th-century pseudonymous women writers]]
[[Category:20th-century pseudonymous writers]]
[[Category:21st-century American Jews]]
[[Category:21st-century American women journalists]]
[[Category:21st-century American journalists]]
[[Category:21st-century American women writers]]